Religion Revisitor Gifts

"Genesis" "*The King Gus Version"

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"Well, we needed the rain."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

The World's Biggest Book Club

"Ma, what does 'kosher' mean?"

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"I think you refuse to admit your god condones slavery, because doing so would be an admission you are more moral than he is. And that conflicts with your Borg programming."

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"...and if you add wind-chill factor, the next plague will be even worse!"

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Tragically Moses didn't see the eleventh commandment.

'THAT'S the Holy Land? - You're kidding, right?'

Oh, @#$%, is that

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

"If God had intended us to fly in jets, He would have seen to it that the Wright Brothers invented jets."

"Just my luck."

Religion & Economics.

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

Pastoring for Dummies

Virgin MaryExtra Virgin Mary.

Best Seller of All Times...The Holy Bible:'No fair. You're creating your own readers.'

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

"They're really more like a bucket list."

"OK, so you've told us what God thinks... but now I'd like to know what YOU think!"

"Lucifer, if you want your own bedroom you're going to have to move into the basement."

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

'Have your daily bread every other day.'

"Due to a breakdown in communication, 'Nilla Wafers' will be used for the communion service."