Relationship Struggle Gifts

"We'd like to get away from it all...including each other!"

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

"I think we should start hating other people."

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Marriage Counselor.

Life is for the birds.

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

"We don't talk anymore."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

Bingo Saves Christmas - Part Three

DIY marriage counseling.