Relationship Struggle Pillows

"We'd like to get away from it all...including each other!"

'Todd... I just feel like you're never here for me!'

"I think we should start hating other people."

"Last week, actually – thanks for noticing."

'I get the feeling lately that some of the magic has gone out of our relationship.'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Marriage Counselor.

Life is for the birds.

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

'Great Therapy!'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"We don't talk anymore."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"My wife complains that I'm cold and self-serving."

'Well I wouldn't have to fake orgasms if you didn't fake foreplay!'

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"What do you mean?! That apology is the best piece of fiction I've ever written!"

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

Snow White and her husband go for counselling.

"Don't take this the wrong way, Howard, but I'd like to go back to having an on-line relationship."