Relationship Reboot Gifts

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

She - Interpreter - He.

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

Dating the efficiency expert.

'Will I still be married?'

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Too Weird to Have a Husband

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

Church Drive-Thru.

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

"Surely not zero tolerance?"

'I'm afraid I don't see a future with Brent, he still calls them 'freedom fries'.'

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

'Great therapy!'

"Your idea of bringing the two of us closer together always seems to be for me to go with you to Bloomingdale's."