Relationship Reboot Mugs

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

She - Interpreter - He.

'Your place or mine?'

man fishing at a dock sees a billboard: Do You Know It's Anniversary

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

'Will I still be married?'

Dating the efficiency expert.

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

'One question, Vicar. Is it bad luck to invite any of the other people we're sleeping with?'

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

Too Weird to Have a Husband

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

'And you must be Hank, my husband's new business partner!'

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

Your relationship can thrive again but you've got to work on it. You've got to experience your feelings and express them. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Sadie, when Mort says that President Obama symbolizes a new era of hope and cooperation, how does that make you feel? Nauseated, insulted, disgusted by Mort's Pollyannaish wimpyness. Good, now say it to Mort. Here? In front of you?

Church Drive-Thru.

Why do you need a girlfriend? Because it's nice to hang out with someone. Why? Because you can do fun stuff. Why? Just because. Oh, why didn't you say so? I think I've had a breakthrough.

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

'This is our last date, Harry. I think I should see other weirdos.'

'We need to twerk.'

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

"So...have you ever kissed a girl before?"

'I'm sorry, Jerome. Instead of marriage and having kids, I've decided just to have myself cloned.'

'Great therapy!'

'I'm afraid I don't see a future with Brent, he still calls them 'freedom fries'.'

"In a world of beefcake, I'm dating tofu."

'Lost my job, house repossessed, but at least I've still got you.'

'Surprised she's getting married again. In lieu of wedding gifts, she's asking for donations to help retain a divorce lawyer.'

"And what's the nature of today's visit?"

"Hey, not bad! You sound like a real couple already!"

"Surely not zero tolerance?"

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

"Call me when you've learned how to have an adult relationship with your apartment."

"I don't want a divorce, but I would like a gap year."