Relationship Mishap Gifts

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"We don't talk anymore."

Their relationship was doomed to fail. She was frigid, and his arms were too short to rub one out.

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"What flower says you're sorry without admitting wrongdoing?"

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'You do make me laugh, Ron, but a relationship can't survive on laughter alone.'

Well, if being married isn't grounds for divorce, I'd like to know what is"

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

"See how controlling he is?!"

'The wife says if I don't give up snooker, she's leaving me. . .I'm going to miss her.'

"We can't even agree what to argue about any more!"

"She called me immature, And if that wasn't bad enough, she burst my bouncy castle."

"What's come between us?"

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

'Right, how can I help you?' 'Your wife is having it off with my husband!'