Unexpected Mishap Lover Gifts

Zebra Crossing

"OK, well, if you do hear anything, be sure to give us a call."

"Honey, it’s no use. We’ve done everything to try to save the divorce — I think we’re going to have to stay married."

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

"Sorry I'm late: I was hitching a ride but when the driver noticed me, he panicked and we had an accident..."

'Little Tommy took the cap off the sauce bottle when he got home from school in the end.'

Desert crawler rescued by truck that won't start.

"Call the inspector and tell him to cancel today, that something has come up."

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

Losing a loved one is never easy. The trick is to make it look easy.

Insurance claim on Grandma

'No, I don't think he's free styling. Maybe he's break dancing.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

Fire Brain

Monster in the Alley.

"Ted! It's fallen down! Ted!"

Campanology wasn't really Gregory's thing!

'Um...Dr. Daly, I think there's something wrong with the MRI.'

"I don't like sweetcorn".

Goalie saves a boot instead of a football.

'You wrecked ANOTHER snowmobile?'

'Bruce, your dingleberry's ringing'

The Off-Tones

'Magic and culinary.'

Harpist slicing fingers on strings

'You were right - it WASN'T a cat with a racing stripe.'

Golf Cart Punctures

'Sarge - I think I've thrown my mobile!'

'It's amazing, the way we met. I had just finished reading his bumper sticker 'Let's not meet by accident' when I tail-gated him.'

Vacuum-salesman clown gets door slammed on his foot.

"Sorry, I haven't had chance to watch much TV since I went to turn down the radio, tripped over a magazine and a framed poster fell on my head..."

"You'll never guess who I ran into on Christmas Eve."

"It's not supposed to be a beard or a moustache. It's stubble!"

Man playing a fruit machine wins three cherries

Hey Siri, dictate a note. What would you like to say? Shhh!!! Whisper, Siri! I'm trying to dictate an article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist. I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. He said "I'm trying to dictate and article about our hostage-takers without them hearing I'm a journalist." Thanks.