Relationship Junkies Pillows

'You never had it so good! Just wait! You'll come crawling back to me!'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

"I'm SO lazy, I married a pregnant woman. . . !"

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Growing Love

"How much is this going to cost me?"

Complaining cricket wives

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Hold on