Relationship Enthusiasts Pillows

"They seem like nice folks, but they really stick to themselves!"

"Larry, you can't blame everything on the media."

Black Friday

If they chat, fall in love and move in together, I call dibs on sleeping between them on the bed.

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

Woman dragging reluctant partner into Tunnel of Commitment.

After an argument, they always kissed and made up.

I'm so sick of being single... She's coming on to me!

"And he's caring and honest and gentle..." "I'd do her."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

'You're sweet, Rodney -- I'll put you on my short list.'

"You're mixed up again, Alan - I'm your first wife."

'Dr Phil sez, if I'm gittin' the milk for free, I should do the right thing and marry her!'

Gaydar Repair

How to feel confident in love & war

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Dialogue

'Romeo and Julietta'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Love Birds love just being together

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"You lack spontaniety."