Modern Relationships Enthusiast Pillows

Safe Sex

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Online Dating

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Growing Love

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Hold on

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

Love

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"Too desperate?"

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'