Relationship Insights Fanatic Pillows

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Hold on

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

Growing Love

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

A Friend in Need.

Love

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

"What on earth do they find to talk about?"

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"Too desperate?"

"Legs up to here!"

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"