Relationship Aficionado Pillows

'...and seven years ago I donated one of my kidneys to him. I want it back.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Legs up to here!"

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

You've been around for a very, very long time. Maybe you can answer this

It would be unfair of me to sleep with you to get even with my ex-boyfriend for sleeping with his ex-girlfriend. Life is unfair. Thank goodness!

"Please don't work late ronight. I want time to have sex, eat you, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour."

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

"Do you want to clap?"

'The wife couldn't bring herself to cut up all my clothes - so she ironed creases in all my jeans.'

"My ad clearly said I was looking for a friend with benefits, not on benefits."

Man Flap

"Call me?"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Paint pots in love

Sitting in a tree

Valentine Day

Mantis Love

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Tongue in the ear...

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

Love Birds love just being together

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'