Relationship Aficionado Gifts

'...and seven years ago I donated one of my kidneys to him. I want it back.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Legs up to here!"

"Uh-oh. I think they're having a Bryn Mawr moment."

101 Positions/101 Excuses

"Please don't work late ronight. I want time to have sex, eat you, and then go to bed at a reasonable hour."

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

"Do you want to clap?"

'The wife couldn't bring herself to cut up all my clothes - so she ironed creases in all my jeans.'

Man Flap

"Call me?"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

Sitting in a tree

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Valentine Day

Mantis Love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Love Birds love just being together

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

Tongue in the ear...

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

"Let's do it, let's fall in love!"

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'