Friendship Aficionado Pillows

"If we become friends now, in twenty years we can say we've been friends for that long."

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"He's interesting. But he's not Brazilian-bikini-wax interesting."

"We're actually better friends now that we're divorced and never see each other."

Just Friends

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

Ok, if you finished reaching enlightenment, you may go to the mall with your friends.

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

'Hey buddy, want to race me?'

'Unfortunately he's not very popular! Right now he's placing an ad in the paper for a best man!'

I'm playing golf with my bank manager and two of his friends. Impossible! There's no such thing as a bank manager with two friends!

'Oops.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Call me?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Sitting in a tree

Valentine Day

Mantis Love

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

Tongue in the ear...

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

Love Birds love just being together

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"But the real treasure is spending time with friends."

"Stupid – yet irresistible."

'The mask?... Oh, I always try to obscure my face a little, at parties. Just to give the other guys a fighting chance.'

"Wow, you look sexy today."

You just keep giving.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"