Relationship Advice Aficionado Pillows

"Howard! You slept in the wrong apartment again."

'Your dad gave me his permission. And then some.'

'I'm sorry, John, but I can't marry every man I'm in love with.'

"And if he decides not to empty the dishwasher, can I recommend a half Nelson, forearm smash, followed by a Boston crab."

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Mantis Love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? My wife wants us to renew our vows and have a big ceremony. But I'd rather save that money for retirement. Should I tell her to go take a hike? Of course. That way, there's a good chance you won't have to worry about retirement at all. Exactly ... Wait, what do you mean by that?

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

"A word of advice, sir...when your wife reaches for another slice of pizza, never, ever say, 'Are you sure you should be eating that?'"

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Growing Love

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Hold on

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

'If you can tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, you don't need advice.'

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

"Only time can heal a broken heart, Brenda, and fortunately I have the time, every Thursday at three o'clock."

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

"Too desperate?"