Relationship Expert Enthusiast Pillows

"Oh, no! My best friend and my best friend's wife!"

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

Urns in love

'You've changed since we got married.'

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

Goldilocks and the three boyfriends.

'That's one of those May-December love affairs. He's 251 years old, and she can't be a day over 135!'

Growing Love

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"Just tell us who's winning."

'I leave a few spaces so you can get a few words in edgeways.'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"Too desperate?"

"Stop undressing me with your eyes."