Relations In Humor Gifts

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Life is for the birds.

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

Hello. I'm Ferdinand. I'll be monitoring the levels of bull at your table this evening. Menu. Menu.

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"You really ought to cut down on your scream time."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"I said I'd give you the world, didn't I?"

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

Always Compatible

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

I think you'll find that I'm easily encouraged. For instance, the fact that the two exclamation points above your head are tempered by one question mark gives me great hope. !?!

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

"Well, hello there, Boo Boo. Where's Daddy?"

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."