Relations In Humor Pillows

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Life is for the birds.

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'No, I'm the marriage counselor. What you need is the semantics counselor down the hall.'

'Well, thanks, but we have no need of a Divorce Lawyer: We're Lovebirds you see...'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Excess Baggage: By the time the male of the species admits he is lost. It is generally too late.

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

"I honored her every request except for the last one: 'Harold, please stop making a scene'."

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

Always Compatible

'Whaddya mean, 'Quit hogging the blanket'? There's a blanket in here?

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

Tunnel of Temporary Infatuation

"What's with the Tim Russert act?"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I've learned something about you tonight, Alan. You say 'chowmein' when you mean 'lomein'."

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

'Don't blame me -- You're the one who had to have more personal space!'

"It's partly my fault he's been ignoring me lately. I'm the one who gave him the laser pointer."

Nothing to say! Wouldn't wanna hear about it anyway!

"For God's sake, Lucille. We're IN a vacuum."