Regal Ruffler Gifts

The King's New Robes.

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

' Look Philip. Even after fifty years I can still get into my coronation dress.'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'Moses, I'm going to have to fine you for failing to get an Environmental Impact Statement before parting the Red Sea.'

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

Prince

'He abdicated his throne and got into software.'

'What's all this I've been hearing about 'future deficits'?'

Scuba diver/bubbles

"I've decided to take on a more ambassadorial role, here are some leaflets on the importance of humour within the workplace..."

'Because the seniority system is traditional, that's why!'

“I keep doing the same thing over and over, but keep getting the same results.”

"Things have been quiet for some time in your line of work."

'When others are around, I'm Henry V ... not Hank.'

"....but it doesn't half get in the way on the bike."

'To his credit, he only oppresses the masses when there's nothing good on TV.'

King has long walk to castle.

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

Fat Cat Crowns Obama.

"Guys, seriously, some myrrh? Next time let's not wait till the last minute as usual to make gifts!"

"All right, I lied to you. All governments lie!"

'Could I interest you in some of my son's school raffle tickets?'