Regal Ruler Gifts

'To his credit, he only oppresses the masses when there's nothing good on TV.'

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"I say we move on to dessert."

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

The Royal Wii

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Gracie for Queen...of the universe.

King Pin

A politician's dream come true...

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

'Dad, have you ever thought about retiring and going in for volunteer work?'

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

The King's New Robes.

'Go on then.....Rule!'

"Trust no one."

Football Royalty

'I know you're going to inherit the throne from your father, but I want you to go to medical school just in case.'

Prince

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'