Regal Role-player Gifts

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'Because the seniority system is traditional, that's why!'

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

Hunding

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'What do you mean you don't believe I'm really a Princess?'

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

' Look Philip. Even after fifty years I can still get into my coronation dress.'

'Apparently, they've gone rogue, Al. They've stopped playing roles and are speaking for themselves, and what we have here are two very disturbed bruins.'

Ethelred II

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

"How would you like to be queen for a day?"

Prince

'Sorry about the war, folks - I was off my meds.'

King to knight: 'You'll have to stop slaying dragons for awhile - the Sierra Club got an injunction.'

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

"Hey, Angel of Death! I'd like to see just how fast you really are!"

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

'He abdicated his throne and got into software.'

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

'Howard, do you mind if I call you 'Lance'?'

'My brother-in-law asked for political asylum, so I had him committed.'

Dear Diary...Royal Diary