Regal Roleplayer Gifts

'When others are around, I'm Henry V ... not Hank.'

Jack Gleeson

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

"But if we win and the Visigoths lose then we're the wild card."

The Royal Wii

The Royal Wii.

King Pin

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'I'm going out to forge an alliance.'

Hunding

'What do you mean you don't believe I'm really a Princess?'

'You knew my alignment was chaotic good when you married me!'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

"That door's no protection against Hobgoblins." - Elf And Safety Inspector

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'I could have SWORN I outlawed dragons!'

Ethelred II

'Well, yes. We are losing the battle, sire. But this is just an exhibition...'

'No I didn't cast Detect Evil to work it out! Let's just say I aced my Female Intuition roll...'

"We are not under siege, Your Majesty. You just have a siege mentality."

'Although we've vanquished the invaders from Paperland, we really should have allied with them for the impending attack on us by Rockland!'

'Coming up! One meal, fit for a King!'

All new holiday season hard wear.

King to knight: 'You'll have to stop slaying dragons for awhile - the Sierra Club got an injunction.'

"Hey, Angel of Death! I'd like to see just how fast you really are!"