Ruler Gifts

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

'Let's see.... oh, dang! - 'Conquer Bosnia-Herzegovina'!'

"My majesty!"

"Until you've abused it, you've never really tasted power."

A politician's dream come true...

'Do this! Do that! -- You sound just like my mother!'

'I buy and awful lot of contemporary art. I'm an emperor - I can afford to...'

'Your Majesty could have gold fish in the moat.'

'You don't get all bent out of shape when LADY GODIVA does it!'

'I suppose under 'Occupation' I put 'Reigning'?'

"Trust no one."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

"Does this mean I have to talk to someone I don't know?"

"Call me bloodthirsty, but I chose career over family."

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"I exiled the lot of them. How are your kids?"

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"From way up, you look like an ant."

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

The Solar System (after deregulation)

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

"He's my school project for science class."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

Tempest in a Teapot

'I don't care if it's a little storage room for King Tut, you still need a building permit and contractor's license.'

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

'I couldn't get Parliament to outlaw Lady Godiva, but they agreed to regulate her.'

Pulling The Economy Uphill