Corporate Ruler Gifts

Man has 'NO' built into desk.

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Businesswoman Empowerment

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"Listen to everybody's opinions? Please, we're not that desperate."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'