Corporate King Gifts

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

'nobody is worth the amount of money I make, but I don't care.'

'I hear your performance is roaring.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

"You all know today's speaker. He's the 'King of Big Sales'."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'We're here to carbon date your company's carbon footprint.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'