Corporate Queen Gifts

'Same here, we have a female C.E.O., too.'

'It's for the executive woman.'

'I made it to the top the old-fashioned way. I recorded my ex-husband's inappropriate remarks, then blackmailed him.'

"Why am I Sales Person of the Year? I already have a buyer for this tacky trophy!"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"Another job well done by your conflict resolution specialist."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"I've never said this to a woman before, but here goes: We're not paying you enough."

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

The Three Wise Queens

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"The announcement of the changes really went well."

After a day long meeting, the decision, as usual, is made in the hallway.

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

"You can all unroll yourselves now. We're heading back up."

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"This is Briggs, our new department head. He's got an amazing knack for reducing complex problems into easy-to-understand witch hunts!"

"It looks like the 'because I say so' has it."

'Miss Pym, we've made a smaller loss than last year, order me a much larger desk.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

'Our job will be to drag the competition down to our level.'

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Water company bonus.

Under new blame.

The vice-president in charge of sincerity

"The boss can see you now."