Content King Gifts

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Guess what? I won again.'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

Like father like son.

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'How animals mark their territory'

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

Up your end.

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

"Did you order takeout?"

"There's the remote!"

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

Life Imitates Arf....

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'