Commodity King Gifts

'Been toying with commodities again, have we?'

'Tell me again. What do we do with pork bellies?'

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"Fred, I think you're spending altogether too much time down here with these mushrooms!"

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"Hmm...I LOVE chocolate chip ice cream...!"

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

'Guess what? I won again.'

Aggressive growth fund loses money shorting gold.

Counting my Bonus...

'I took my money out of the bank and put it into municipal bonds...'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'How would you like to trade in our pork bellies pit?'

"Hey, this is just a bun!" "Help yourself to the mustard."

S**t Creek Halt

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

'I handle commodities and Dietrich here specialises in stocks and bonds.'

'Bit of an over reaction to a world-wide shortage of bismuth, don't you think?'

'The sedative wears off in an hour. With the attached transmitter we can monitor his trading volume and patterns, commissions and mating rituals.'

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Traders on floor of commodities exchange see kidneys trade on the quote board.

'Pork bellies are up...'

'I'm pretty sure this means the price has finally hit bottom.'

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

'You were in commodities - cattle, stuff like that - so you must feel right at home here.'

Will work for manure.

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

Coronavirus and the Stock Market

I Told You To Compost It!

Back to School '95

Commodities Exchange. Around here, unloading 50 tons of pork bellies is not a physically demanding task.

Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Russia and Qatar agree to freeze oil production

"I told them I was sick of working all hours...and that I intended to stick to my hours and get home to give my son a bath and bedtime book....unfortunately he'd turned into a 26 year old commodities broker while I was in meetings!"