Content King Pillows

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

"I shop, therefore I am."

"Yours is adjustable?"

'Guess what? I won again.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

Like father like son.

"Can you take a video of me attacking the garbage so I can post it on Instagram?"

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

'How animals mark their territory'

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

Up your end.

Somebody should really be filming this for YouTube.

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

"I'd like an application form for the position of minister, please!"

"All of my visitors have to wear that get up. Apparently my humour is very infectious."

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"According to our eye tracking studies,either nobody is looking at the content on our site, or all the participants have lazy eye."

'Mr. Bigmeister likes to start each meeting with the pledge of allegiance.'

Note to viewers: we've cut back on sexual content by replacing it with violence.

'I know you've gotten attached to him, Bobby, I have too, but the man at the door is from his firm and needs him back.'

Life Imitates Arf....

"Did you order takeout?"

"There's the remote!"