Copy King Pillows

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

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A Copy Editor and His Dog

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, Kevin. You need to know them so you can Blog.'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

"Where have you been? This content's not going to create itself."

Thesaurus Company

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'Guess what? I won again.'

"Eventually the instrument becomes an extension of your body."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Editor.

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

The Work-from-Home-Polka

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Think.

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Bull Pen

Writer