Copy Boy Pillows

'It's so romantic - 6 months ago Jerry was the CEO, and Tim was just the copy boy!'

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Punctuation Police

A Copy Editor and His Dog

Someone who knows apostrophes

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Thesaurus Company

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

One of the failed candidates for the copyrighters job wants to know 'wat was rong with his applicashun'.

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

Editor.

"This is gibberish, Nigel, but most persuasive gibberish."

THE REPORT: Some of this is brilliant, but that can be fixed.

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

'If I've learned anything, it's believe half of what's in the newspapers, and even less of what's in your e-mail.'

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

"I know R&D feels that the product warrants at least two 'really'."

Copywriter's blank paper compared to the gridded screen of a content provider.

His last words were, "Stop correcting my grammar!" Here Lays Fred P. Smink.

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

Publisher to writer: 'It was a great read, except I collided with run-on sentences, tripped over broken English and got knocked about by a dangling participle.'

Think.

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Writer

Fisher, this memo of yours, it needs more punch

'You fancy yourself as a press baron, don't you?'

Bull Pen

"Recycled, Wayne, we'd prefer 'recycled'."

'It's official. We replace the words worn-out, old-fashion, and obsolete with classic, vintage and retro.'

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."