Regal Jokester Gifts

'Actually, I'm between reigns right now.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

'So who needs sonar?!'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozak.

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Beat it! Here comes the major and his entire staff!"

Men dancing

"Remember that ultimately we must answer to Chairs."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

Athen's Theater. "Oedipus Rex" didn't test well as a title, Sophocles. How would you feel about calling it "My Big Fat Greek Tragedy"?

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Okay Dad, time to unwind.'

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"I'm very highly strung!"

'If you cut back on children, at least try to eat them before they nibble on your house.'

'As I feared, the X-ray shows that you are crying inside.'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

Gang of Musicians

Celebrity Clown Rehab: 'And so how does that make you feel, Chuckles?'

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Cowvid-19

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

Serpent Instrument player

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

Bass Camp

I laughed so hard that milk came out my nose.

'We got Ethan this accordion to make some extra money. People pay him not to play it.'