Regal Comedy Gifts

"The monarch appreciates your wit, but thinks your timing sucks."

Jack Gleeson

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

'I was all ready to deal with the military, but I never expected an IRS coup!'

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Your mommy is here as you requested, sire, to check for monsters under your throne!'

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

Emperor Trump and Sultan Erdogan

'Actually, I'm between reigns right now.'

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

'Go on then.....Rule!'

'The chef says the closest thing he has to 'four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie' is quiche.'

Prince

Dear Diary...Royal Diary

'And he thinks he's the most powerful being in the land.'

'Sorry about the economy, but I never was very good at story problems.'

'What's all this I've been hearing about 'future deficits'?'

'They're called 'ladies in waiting,' not 'those broads downstairs'!'

A king returns to his throne to find his dog sitting on it wearing his crown.

King with a long walk to his castle.

"It's still the red-carpet treatment, even if it's only remnants."

'Because the seniority system is traditional, that's why!'

The Queen's Collies.

'I, Horace Windsock-Trumpintub, being of sound mind...'

"Things have been quiet for some time in your line of work."

'When others are around, I'm Henry V ... not Hank.'

A royal helps their injured footman carry their palanquin

King has long walk to castle.

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'

'You and your fabric softener!'