Regal Laundry Humor Gifts

'You and your fabric softener!'

Domestic Superheroes!!

When laundry ruled the waves.

A man washing a mascot costume

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Dreams I have had...

"To be joined together as a matched pair, in cleanliness and in filth, until separation in the laundry do you part?"

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

Search for Missing Socks

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Cow Wash Cycle.

'I'm a bit suspicious of that Trojan Clothes horse.'

'I hope your undershorts were clean.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

'I know it looks big, but it'll shrink when I wash it.'

"You'll like thiws one. It performs a thousand revolutions a minute."

"Our Brian's back from his gap year in Africa... and he's brought his laundry."

"I found the problem with your dryer. . . here are a bunch of socks you probably thought were lost!"

"I don't care if he is hard to give a bath to...if you put him into one those giant washing machines I'm calling the SPCA!"

'I'm dropping you, you're too clean.'

Laundry baskets labelled 'pajamas' and 'not pajamas'.

"I'm sorry Bob. After you disappeared, I made a new life with Fred."

'That's the last time I ask you to do the laundry!'

I'd clean this place up in 10 minutes. Yeah right. What's that you say? I fold laundry in my sleep. You're talking crazy to a man who can hem his wife's stockings while baking bread. Listen up close. Before my wife got home today, I scrubbed the bathroom tile, made a peach pie, sent out thank-you notes, fixed the kids grilled cheese and repotted the begonia. Now what do you think of that, pansy!? How liberated men compete. Don't make me knit something! I will get busy on you with a dust buster.

Fish living in a washing machine.

"You used the right amount of detergent and fabric softener. The problem is this washing machine isn't for dishes."

'Admit it, Mabel - you've been keeping these non-iron shirts a secret in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

Watch where you throw the frisbee!

"Is that my best sheepskin?! I told you dry-clean only!"

'Oh. Did I startle you!?'

Upon retirement Chantel pledges to use laundry detergents that meet environmental requirements...

The other mark of Zorro.

"So. . . you're back!"