Reel Jokester Gifts

'So who needs sonar?!'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

A crab with a utility knife claw

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Okay, who's been messing with the copy machine?"

Drainpipe in a sombrero.

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Before someone says anything, yes, it was a long winter."

"You idiots … we lost!"

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'You should see a doctor. Maybe you have that West Nile thing.'

'You're breaking up...please text me.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"I'm very highly strung!"

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

'The electricians hot-wired the building inspector's car seat again.'

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

"What's my laptop. Your old room is now the computer room."

Unselfish by nature - he delights to show the novice where the big chub cruise...and where the best pike lie.

It's a Four Seasons sleeping bag.

Gang of Musicians

Interrupted Shower.

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

The disgusting, embarrassing sound of a whoopie cushion...

'... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those dang meddling kids... that and my incredibly stupid plan. Also in retrospect, I realize my costume was, regrettably, quite lame.'

Cowvid-19

"I'm sorry, but the flight of the bumblebees has been cancelled."

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

Junk Mail Shredder.