Reel Humorist Gifts

'first it was bankruptcy,then I totaled my four-wheeler,then my marriage.Now the magic has gone out of casting.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'You lifted your head.'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"The Eggsorcist"

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

Atomic Bear: Part 21

Glance Exchange

Grimm's Reality Tales.

Competitive Eating Competition Competitive Vomiting Competition,

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from restless dreams, transformed into a monstrous vermin, he thought to himself: never again bourbon and tequila in the same night, and this time, I mean it."

"It's just a tree."

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"How about a hand."

STRIP God' s dog urinating on planet Earth

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'You can't come in here with that.'

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'The Lemming Book Store'

Self Help / Elf Help.

Large print e-book.

'How can he be depressed when all he eats are Happy Meals?'