Experimental Humorist Gifts

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Football Chameleon

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"I said slime."

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

A bird plays the flute to a cat.

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"Wait, has thou brought snacks?"

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The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Interpretive napping

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

The world's first exploding cricket box...

'Sheep striptease'.

Smokers smoking on the moon, Astronauts smoking on the moon

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Man blows horn and bubbles come out.

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'See? Tantor like Jane -- he want Jane give belly rub!'

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

Snowman Tattoo

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Factory Recall Unicorn.

"It's obviously an original."

"You said a moment ago that everybody you look at seems to be a rabbit. Now just what do you mean by that, Mrs. Sprague?"