Existential Humorists Gifts

"But if You create them in Your image, how will they tell each other apart?"

"It's so beautiful. Almost makes you forget that at any moment a gamma ray burst could obliterate us all."

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Sorry - The position has already been filled."

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"I thought the snow would never start"

"I love it when they come with warning labels."

Last Real Tough-Minded Thinking for 200 Miles

'Existential truckstop'

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

Tombstone that says I Have No Life

Reptilian trauma.

'Sorry, but my liability insurance no longer allows me to grant that wish.'

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

"Life"

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'

Is there life after digestion?

Banana Midlife Crisis

"Hurry up! - You don't have all day. . ."

"I think therefore I am on antidepressants."