Existential Humorist Gifts

How To Deal With The Upcoming Recession, Inflation, Depression, Ice Age, Greenhouse Effect, Energy Crunch, Population Explosion, and Complete End of the World in the Year 2000.

'Life Cycle'

'You're certainly seeing the big picture.'

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

'Hey, don't look at me -- I was AGAINST free will.'

"Gravity's not going to tell me how to live my life!"

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"A warm, sunny day...makes you glad to be alive..."

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

'To cross the road or not to cross the road'

After Gus and Deke had escaped from reality, it took them a long time to adjust.

'Whe I got hit by that truck last week, my whole life flashed before my eyes...'

'The best way to shine a bright incandesence into the ever inky blakcness that eats my being, Charlie, is to buy lunch.'

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Life is like a toilet roll. It's only when you've reached the end do you realize how much you've wasted.'

The New Philosophy Sitcom: Sartre Trek, Boldly Going Nowhere.

Is there life after digestion?

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life."

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"Hurry up! - You don't have all day. . ."

Tombstone that says I Have No Life

"Do you have any sugary carbonated drinks that will give my life meaning?"

Frequently Asked Questions

Middle-School Crisis

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"I would have stayed in Purgatory if I'd know this was going to be such a schlep."

“Everyone prefers apple picking to potato digging.”

"I think therefore I am on antidepressants."

"I thought the snow would never start"

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'Live today like you're gonna die tomorrow Gus. But we're fruit flies so it's pretty much true.'

SHRUNKEN ID STRIP#5 "There's something missing in my life..."