Recreational Drug Humorists Gifts

Please Keep Dogs Off Grass

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

Sea of Tranquillity

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

'You've gotta help me! I can't read my own writing!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'