Marijuana Humorist Gifts

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Medicinal plants

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

Modern Witch Shoppe

Little Farm Shop of Horrors with G.M produce turned into man eating plant

The beautiful but deadly 'Venus dog trap'.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Where are the perineums?" "Aisle 3. Between the vaginas and the rectums."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Psst...The grass is a plant!"

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

Drunken rooster has a hangover while sun rises.

"I gave up fire breathing and switched to vaping."

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

Venus fly trap.

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"I see you've laid out your garden."

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

"It's a crank call - just heavy transpiration."

Bathing Flowers.

"What seems to be the problem?"

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'