Cannabis Comedian Gifts

"Ohhhhhhhhhh, I see. When I saw the sign out front, I just assumed it meant advice."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

Teapot

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'If you want to smoke, you'll have to go outside.'

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"I like to keep my option open."

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

'Why, yes, a banner season for squash! What makes you ask?'

"Is that decaf?"

Grumpy man telling a teddy bear whoes watching TV to get out of his chair

"I gave up fire breathing and switched to vaping."

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

Smoking and non-smoking sides of a Volcano.

"Do you mind if I don't say cheese, I'm a vegan."

"More nicotine."

Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. I am not your Uncle Mort. You know the doctors have said "no caffeine," Uncle Mort. I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mr. Somewunneruther. "Mister Somewunneruther"? Yes. Of the Minnesota Somewunneruthers. We're a very old and respected family. We came over on the Sunflower. Mayflower!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

"I thought you'd like it. It's an orchid. pre-neglected!"

'I'm not taking any more of those Tranquillizers. I'm being nice to people I don't even want to talk to!'

De'ja' va - "This coffee is starting to repeat on me!"

The following morning, Jack somehow sensed that what his 'magic beans' had turned into, although still quite unremarkable looking, had the ability to lift him above his humble, mundane life.

'That so turns me on.'

"Boy, am I hungry! What's for dinner, dear?"

Chicken Soup for the Vegan Soul.

"Why are you ploughing with a steam roller?" "I'm growing mashed potatoes."

'I think it's a creeper...'

A woman sprinkles herbs in a restuarant