Beverage Comedian Gifts

Teapot

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Man...You age great!'

"What other tricks does he need?"

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

"Good luck, Sanders. We're sure going to miss that little imitation you do of me at office parties."

'No, I can't remember the name of the wine, but it did come in a bottle about this tall, if that's any help.'

'I don't actually want to learn so much that I become a wine buff - just a wine snob!'

Join me in a beer?

"She said don't forget the straw."

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

"Would you please sip your drink and not swill it!"

'This decaf's lousy.'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'I'd like to get in touch with my feminine side, Joe -- bring me a Bloody Mary.'

'Hello, my name is Death'

"It's for his shakes."

"I like to keep my option open."

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

"No thanks, just the peanuts."

'I'd like a brandy please...'

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'That's right. Ploughman's lunch; Egg, beans and sausage. It's what he orders every time he comes in here.'

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

"Do you have a wine that tastes like beer?"

'Can't you come up with something more elegant than 'Dave's Homemade Booze'?'

"Wow, that's amazing! I've only been to this bar once before. I'm surprised you remembered my round!"