Marijuana Humor Fan Gifts

Hash Oil

"Look at Ernie. He's so tipsy, he's walking face forward."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'I'm sorry, Leonard, I can't prescribe marijuana for you. Boredom is not a medical problem.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'They say pot makes you less motivated, but I've already been to Taco Bell eleven times today.'

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"...and these are the best for treating anxiety about Trump cracking down on legalized marijuana..."

'Yep. Rex here is the best darn drug-sniffing dog on the force.'

At last - Stonedhenge

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

Joke's Joke Joint

Why Leave Home?

Unmotivated

Pot Busts Gone Wild

The Joint: State Deficits and Millions in Tax Revenue.

"I warned him not to go vegan."

A drunk man being told to get up out of the gutter by a policeman

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

'This is your pilot speaking, we are now flying over Colorado.'

The Stoned Age

"Relax. . . when I mention 'bad joints', I meant your knees!"

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."