Marijuana Humor Fan Gifts

Hash Oil

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Really? You mean you’ve never smoked a joint?"

'Stocks are down. Bonds are down. Terrorism and natural disasters are up. Ask your doctor if medical marijuana is right for you...'

"Medical marijuana hotline...press hash to continue."

Caterpillar Paranoia

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"I am the Genie of the Bong! I will grant you... um... I am the Genie of the Bong!"

"Yes, sir, it's Houstonia Michauxii and it prefers shade or semi-shade."

'I'm sorry, Leonard, I can't prescribe marijuana for you. Boredom is not a medical problem.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"If you ask me, you can't go wrong with this beautiful bouquet of marijuana."

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

'Yep. Rex here is the best darn drug-sniffing dog on the force.'

At last - Stonedhenge

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

"He's been like this ever since he stopped eating the stuff and began smoking it."

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

"Don't worry, the pain will stop once everything goes numb."

Joke's Joke Joint

The Joint: State Deficits and Millions in Tax Revenue.

The Stoned Age

"I warned him not to go vegan."

A drunk man being told to get up out of the gutter by a policeman

Undignified Exits of the Plant World

'This is your pilot speaking, we are now flying over Colorado.'

"Relax. . . when I mention 'bad joints', I meant your knees!"

Big Bong Theory

"Peweeew! Drop your arms, please. Your arm pits are foul."