Drug Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

Standup Pharmacist

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

Push In And Turn

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'

The pharmacy sign.

Man arrives at Kidney Stone Clinic and sees sign, 'This, too, shall pass.'