Drug Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

Sea of Tranquillity

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

"Oh darn, there it is right there: side effects may include squid head."

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

Standup Pharmacist

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

"That's the strongest teeth whitener we carry. Smile in the dark and your mouth becomes a night light."

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

"They won't help you... but what the heck, they won't hurt you either."

"This medication did take care of my rash. However, like the TV commercial claimed, it did come with a few side effects."

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'

Push In And Turn

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

'I'm going to prescribe something that works like aspirin but costs much, much more.'

The pharmacy sign.

Man arrives at Kidney Stone Clinic and sees sign, 'This, too, shall pass.'