Recreational Drug Humorists Pillows

Please Keep Dogs Off Grass

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

Sea of Tranquillity

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

'Wait! Tell me again about the 'excessive gas and oily discharge'?'

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'You can sniff out pet supplies on aisle five.'

"No, it's not mentioned in the side effects. But you have noticed that it's a full moon tonight, haven't you?"

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

'You've gotta help me! I can't read my own writing!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'