Over-medication Humorist Gifts

"It doesn't really matter if I take a wrong pill - I probably have something that needs it anyway!"

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

A Judge about to enter an operating theatre for a 'Clinical Trial'.

"I'm glad you like this new brand of coffee, Joni. The label said "fast-acting," but who knows what that means!"

Relax, I'm just here to pick up a prescription.

"I'm sorry, but it's just not going to work out between us. We're contraindicated."

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

Sea of Tranquillity

'You'd better stick with blurry eyes, anxiety attacks and hallucinations, because he drug prescription, I'd give,shows even greater side effects!'

'Take two a day and in a couple of years you'll be a pharmacist!'

'Side effects may include loss of appetite, job, home and family.'

"I suggest you take these pills on an empty stomach."

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"Your report card says you don't interact well with other medications."

"Do you carry generic placebos?"

"I like my job because I can afford better psychotropic drugs than my colleagues!"

"Doctor - can I administer my own anaesthetic?"

'You've been overfeeding the budgie again, dear.'

"These drugs won't do much, but the combined side effects are a hoot!"

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.

"… Yes, but you only have to take it once a year."

You say the plumage has lasted longer than four hours?

'You've gotta help me! I can't read my own writing!'

'And me fresh out of xanax.'

'If you experience pain and discomfort in removing the cap... double the dosage.'

Vern left his weed on the couch again. Bad for Vern. Good for Scooter.

'Since taking Prozac I only chase parked cars'

"I feel so calm and relaxed when we're together."

TV 7 Weather

'I've been on this stuff and I'll tell ya, the side effects go great with a bottle of pinot grigio.'

'Is excruciating pain an 'untoward reaction'?'

'You seem much better since they upped my medication.'