Medication Humor Gifts

"Let me know if that level of medication is effective. And if we need to, we can give some to the student as well."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Ice Cream Surgeon

PSA Banter.

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

"I don't leave home without it!"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

You can relax now.

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.

'You've got the worst case of whatever this is, I've ever seen.'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'One placebo or two, doctor?'

"Things look good but let's run a few more tests since mortality runs in your family."

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

'We all shrink as we get older... You'll just have to be a little patient!'