Medicinal Magic Humor Gifts

"And is that your card?"

Ice Cream Surgeon

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"There's your son's heartbeat, and over here is the app he's developing."

PSA Banter.

"The doctor wanted me to let you know that everything is fine, but your c-section didn't go quite as planned. it was more like a 'K' section..."

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

"Boy, do we hate to see this... I'm afraid your child's entire body is an 'innie'."

Happy Birthday to you.

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

Prospective hospital employee: 'I do sutures. Are there any openings?'

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'That was creepy. They ran short on cadavers, so we operated on the dean of students.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

'We'll need to run some preliminary tests to see if you're healthy enough for more invasive follow-up tests.'

'You have an enlarged funny bone.'

'Time for your pills.'

"She keeps getting a stitch in her side."

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

'My god! Have you seen the size of this chiropodist's bill?!!'

'Long shift?'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Doctor to patient: 'While I'm back here, let's try a little something I learned when I was a ventriloquist.'

"Gross."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'Could you be more specific than you feel zucky?'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'